*This is part of The Ranchor issue of The Anchor, which is a satire edition of our student newspaper. None of this article is meant to be taken as fact.* CHICAGO — The Chicago Cubs held a ceremony to celebrate their first World Series appearance since 1945 on Sunday. The ceremony was open to the…
*This is part of The Ranchor issue of The Anchor, which is a satire edition of our student newspaper. None of this article is meant to be taken as fact.* After a round of budget concerns and death threats, the resident editors of The Ranchor have been forced to turn to grisly means. Cost of…
*This is part of The Ranchor issue of The Anchor, which is a satire edition of our student newspaper. None of this article is meant to be taken as fact.* You could argue that 2016 has been the best year yet: The Cubs are headed to the World Series for the first time in forever,…
*This is part of The Ranchor issue of The Anchor, which is a satire edition of our student newspaper. None of this article is meant to be taken as fact.* On May 28, 2016, the ghost of Harambe was born. It all started in the Cincinnati Zoo where a three-year-old boy climbed into a gorilla…
*This is part of The Ranchor issue of The Anchor, which is a satire edition of our student newspaper. None of this article is meant to be taken as fact.* I dunno man, a lot of stuff has been going on, especially since the summer transfer window. Here’s what’s up. Paul Pogba The man who…
*This is part of The Ranchor issue of The Anchor, which is a satire edition of our student newspaper. None of this article is meant to be taken as fact.* A 2016 Presidential Race Concert Experience is coming to a city near you. Broadway and Hollywood music creatives have collaborated to create this new experience…
*This is part of The Ranchor issue of The Anchor, which is a satire edition of our student newspaper. None of this article is meant to be taken as fact.* Hey guys, its October and I feel as though it’s really important for me to turn over a new leaf. You see, for the…
*This is part of The Ranchor issue of The Anchor, which is a satire edition of our student newspaper. None of this article is meant to be taken as fact.* “They’re bringing crime. They’re racists.” ““You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes. Blood coming out of her — wherever.” “A…
*This is part of The Ranchor issue of The Anchor, which is a satire edition of our student newspaper. None of this article is meant to be taken as fact.* The Best Words* By Amber Lee Carnahan You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media write as long as you have a…
*This is part of The Ranchor issue of The Anchor, which is a satire edition of our student newspaper. None of this article is meant to be taken as fact.* Ash_KetchumAll150: “I cannot tell you how much I’ve cried over the past few weeks. Everything in my world has begun to fall apart. I…