*This is part of The Ranchor issue of The Anchor, which is a satire edition of our student newspaper. None of this article is meant to be taken as fact.* Where is she? Hiding away with her two cats planning an extravagant Christmas for her fans? Is she planning her comeback? Or is she…
*This is part of The Ranchor issue of The Anchor, which is a satire edition of our student newspaper. None of this article is meant to be taken as fact.* British novelist, J.K. Rowling, not even close to finishing the franchise that sparked millions of imaginations J.K. Rowling: the author who will write about…
*This is part of The Ranchor issue of The Anchor, which is a satire edition of our student newspaper. None of this article is meant to be taken as fact.* A harsh reality is settling into the lives of millions of girls around the world, from babies just out of the womb that suck…
*This is part of The Ranchor issue of The Anchor, which is a satire edition of our student newspaper. None of this article is meant to be taken as fact.* In a cottage far, far away, there once was a fraternity named “Europe-pia”, who had many members that would argue and argue often over…
*This is part of The Ranchor issue of The Anchor, which is a satire edition of our student newspaper. None of this article is meant to be taken as fact.* Saturday Night Live (SNL), comedic brain-child of Lorne Michaels, is a late-night live sketch comedy and variety show that has entertained the American public…
*This is part of The Ranchor issue of The Anchor, which is a satire edition of our student newspaper. None of this article is meant to be taken as fact.* In the latest Wikileaks’ release of 2016 Democratic party presidential nominee and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s emails, allegations that Secretary Clinton had…
*This is part of The Ranchor issue of The Anchor, which is a satire edition of our student newspaper. None of this article is meant to be taken as fact.* 2016 was an interesting year, both on and off the Hope College campus. The Bultman Student Center is soon to be completed. Last semester…
*This is part of The Ranchor issue of The Anchor, which is a satire edition of our student newspaper. None of this article is meant to be taken as fact.* President Ronald Gump admits entire campaign was a joke, leaves after one day Last week, newly elected Student Congress President, Ronald Gump, announced his…
*This is part of The Ranchor issue of The Anchor, which is a satire edition of our student newspaper. None of this article is meant to be taken as fact.* Hey there Dutchmen, Gossip Squirrel here, giving you the inside on the lives of Hope College’s elite student body. Many of you may have…