pumpkin spice doritos

How many hipsters does it take to start a trend?

*This is part of The Ranchor issue of The Anchor, which is a satire edition of our student newspaper. None of this article is meant to be taken as fact.*


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2016 was an interesting year, both on and off the Hope College campus. The Bultman Student Center is soon to be completed. Last semester students rallied in support for President John Knapp. The presidential elections are coming to a close. But most importantly, we’ve seen new styles make their way to campus, as well as the continuation of some favorite Hope trends. We know that between classes, studying and work, you’re also extremely interested in the latest fads. So here’s a breakdown:

1. Socks and Sandals – Not just for middle-aged dads on vacation. When the weather gets cold just pair your Chacos with some socks. It’s comfortable and keeps your feet warm well into October if you’re still not ready for closed-toed shoes.

2. Pumpkin Spice – Every fall the craze takes over. Haters get mad at Starbucks for releasing the PSL early. Stores sell pumpkin spice foods that should never be pumpkin spiced. Yes we’ve all tried them. But we’ll never admit it.

3. Flannel – Celebrate the Homecoming Hoedown every day. Flannel shirts go with anything from jeans to dresses, and even overalls. Listen to some Jason Aldean to get the right mindset for this look (but first give your roommates some earplugs. Please).

4. White Vans- This joke fizzled out by spring, much to the relief of your friends named Daniel. But Vans of many other colors are popular as ever with skaters and preps who secretly listen to punk rock.

5. Vineyard Vines – What says “My family goes sailing on the weekends” better than an expensive t-shirt with a whale logo? Best paired with boat shoes, a sensible haircut and a “Romney-Ryan 2012” button.

6. The 90s – Choker necklaces and crop tops are a thing. “Fuller House” is just as corny as the original show. A Clinton is running for president. So much nostalgia.

7. High school apparel – Sometimes you’ll see students showing off their high school pride around campus. This is most likely a sign that they peaked during those four years. Just smile and nod politely while they reminisce about their good old days.

8. Athletic clothes – Did you just get out of Health Dy? Did you sleep in those clothes and run out of time to change? No one will know the difference.

9. Angsty alternative rock – Maybe you were misunderstood in middle school. Your parents just didn’t understand why you listened to loud music by singers wearing eyeliner and panicking at the disco. But rejoice, Hot Topic lovers! This music is slowly becoming mainstream once more.

10. Purposely ripped or cut-out clothing – Ripped jeans, muscle shirts for The Pull, etc. Donald Drumpf could build his wall with all this missing fabric.

11. Pokemon Go – Forcing gamers to actually go outside has never been trendier.

12. Smart phones – These have been around for a while and have as many problems as Ted Cruz. But now you can have an iPhone without a headphone jack or Samsung Note 7 that catches on fire! Further proof that humans can’t have nice things.

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