*This is part of The Ranchor issue of The Anchor, which is a satire edition of our student newspaper. None of this article is meant to be taken as fact.* Where is she? Hiding away with her two cats planning an extravagant Christmas for her fans? Is she planning her comeback? Or is she…
*This is part of The Ranchor issue of The Anchor, which is a satire edition of our student newspaper. None of this article is meant to be taken as fact.* British novelist, J.K. Rowling, not even close to finishing the franchise that sparked millions of imaginations J.K. Rowling: the author who will write about…
*This is part of The Ranchor issue of The Anchor, which is a satire edition of our student newspaper. None of this article is meant to be taken as fact.* A harsh reality is settling into the lives of millions of girls around the world, from babies just out of the womb that suck…
*This is part of The Ranchor issue of The Anchor, which is a satire edition of our student newspaper. None of this article is meant to be taken as fact.* In a cottage far, far away, there once was a fraternity named “Europe-pia”, who had many members that would argue and argue often over…
*This is part of The Ranchor issue of The Anchor, which is a satire edition of our student newspaper. None of this article is meant to be taken as fact.* Saturday Night Live (SNL), comedic brain-child of Lorne Michaels, is a late-night live sketch comedy and variety show that has entertained the American public…
*This is part of The Ranchor issue of The Anchor, which is a satire edition of our student newspaper. None of this article is meant to be taken as fact.* In the latest Wikileaks’ release of 2016 Democratic party presidential nominee and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s emails, allegations that Secretary Clinton had…
*This is part of The Ranchor issue of The Anchor, which is a satire edition of our student newspaper. None of this article is meant to be taken as fact.* 2016 was an interesting year, both on and off the Hope College campus. The Bultman Student Center is soon to be completed. Last semester…
*This is part of The Ranchor issue of The Anchor, which is a satire edition of our student newspaper. None of this article is meant to be taken as fact.* President Ronald Gump admits entire campaign was a joke, leaves after one day Last week, newly elected Student Congress President, Ronald Gump, announced his…
*This is part of The Ranchor issue of The Anchor, which is a satire edition of our student newspaper. None of this article is meant to be taken as fact.* Hey there Dutchmen, Gossip Squirrel here, giving you the inside on the lives of Hope College’s elite student body. Many of you may have…
The Hope College football team improved their record to 3-3 with a 25-7 victory over Adrian College on Saturday. Once again, the Flying Dutchmen defense came to play and shut down the Bulldog offense. Hope kicker Darren Ford (’19) tied an MIAA record with four field goals made in the game. After a hard-fought first…