The Ranchor is our semesterly, satire edition. Everything that is apart of this section is inaccurate, false, and written with comedic intent. The Anchor is not attempting to make any factual statements with these articles. Enjoy!
Two weeks ago, I published an article in The Anchor’s Arts section entitled “In defense of country music.” In this article, I discussed the history, meaning and stars of today’s country genre. I have since recognized the colossal misstep I have made and would like to take this week’s article to apologize. You see, Hope…
Hope College’s newly announced $5,000 annual tuition raise is accompanied by an exciting tuition-funded project: Fixer Upper’s very own Chip and Joanna Gaines are traveling to the Hope College campus! Durfee Hall, the only all-male dormitory, is getting a facelift. Constructed in the 1950s, Durfee’s interior is quite dated with beige walls and unsanitary conditions—the…
In an ideal world, we would like to think that politicians live up to expectations placed upon them by voters. That they would be honest, hardworking and do everything in their power to serve their constituents well. Let’s be real though: that seems too good to be true, especially with everything that has gone down…
CAMPUSMAIL DISTRIBUTION (from Student Development) Subject: This ends here. Dear Campus Community, It has come to our attention that students and faculty alike have been engaging in persistent and harmful acts of misconduct. In a time when almost nothing is certain, every individual should at least be assured that their place in line at Phelps…
This Saturday, Nykerk season comes to a close as the ’22 and ’23 classes go head to head in a showdown involving song, play, and oration. Nykerk has been well-loved by generations of Hope College students, and this year is sure to be an interesting night with Even Year defending last year’s win, and Odd…
Despite being a key face of a college or university, mascots are often a mystery outside of the costume. Often furry, brightly colored, and overly energetic, mascots are a quintessential but often ignored factor of the college experience. “Although I am underappreciated and make few appearances besides a few key events, I get paid $3,000…
This weekend I had the opportunity to interview one of the best football players on Hope’s football team. Chad McMuscles IV is in his fourth year as a student here and is majoring in business. Because he has such a strict training regimen, I wanted to dig deeper into how he balances school and sports. …
Recent changes in Hope College’s board of trustees have had major impacts on student life and education. After extensive review, Hope students managed to convince the board to allow students to join with voting power in order to better represent student opinion in the formation of college policies. With a diverse range of 20 students…
What follows are extracts from the journal of Dr. Boris Renderton, former Associate Professor of Chemistry at Hope College before his abrupt resignation: October 25th, 2019 “It seems a rather curious thing to dwell over. It’s the end of October, just after midterms, surely there isn’t a student on campus who isn’t feeling mentally…
After a period of controversy on Hope’s campus regarding Chapel speakers, Campus Ministries has decided to “play it safe” with a wholesome crowd pleaser: Kanye West. Given West’s spiritual awakening and newest gospel-rap album “JESUS IS KING,” students, faculty, and staff are all looking forward to hearing what West has to share with Hope’s campus….