*This article is part of The Ranchor, The Anchor’s biannual satire edition*
It has been a week since most students walked around campus with exhaustion in their eyes. Some say that they looked like koalas because of severe eye bags due to the lack of sleep as they spent so much time studying for their midterm exams. STEM students and some professors encourage other students to spend time relaxing before their exams so they are well prepared and ready to perform their best.
Lazz Yasir, an excellent D student, says that it is all about simplicity. While some students like to study and waste paper by rewriting their notes or spending a lot of money on flashcards, statistics show that it could increase stress, and that is the last thing you want walking into an exam. Kimon, a sophomore student who excels at her STEM classes as evidenced by her F grade average, says, “It is all about imagination and using your mind, not your mind using you. I see so many freshmen stress themselves out and shake their legs constantly in class trying to keep up with lectures so they have the notes to study for their bio exam.” Kimon also says that getting a good grade on your exams is not as difficult as people make it out to be. A psychology professor, Almos Ramiel, says that the students that are successful in their academics are the ones that sleep. “My top student sleeps in a class all the time and uses his imagination to retain the information taught in class,” says Dr. Ramiel.
On the other hand, a freshman student, Ein Stein, spends an average of about 10 hours a day studying outside of class and 10 hours in class so she does well on her bio exam. As a result, Stein is stressing most of the time, which causes her to be anxious and forget the information taught in class. Stress is very harmful to the brain. As Dr. Ramiel says, stressing decreases long-term memory because it affects short-term memories that turn into long-term memories. Dr. Ramiel also mentions that students that sleep in class have a better imagination. “Imagination is crucial to college students because it helps compel students to think critically and in problem-solving,” he says.
Students who sleep in class say they succeed because they are calm and less stressed out. They like to maintain a sense of controlled unpredictability. “It is boring when you go to a class, and you know what is going to be asked or finishing the exam knowing that you did well,” says Kimon. Kimon suggests that students sleep in class because it makes no sense to stress your brain acquiring so much information at once. “We have to give our brain rest, or we will all end up with insomnia,” says Kimon
Cally Culus, a senior majoring in mathematics, says that not sleeping in class has affected him tremendously. “I pay so much attention in class that I start seeing the squirrels as an algebra problem,” he says. Last week, a student reported to campus safety that she saw Culus grabbing a squirrel and pulling out its hair in hopes of solving for x, given that y=4x+12.
Not sleeping in class stresses students out. It impacts them immensely because they are not able to excel on their STEM exams. It reduces biology students’ ability to retain the process of DNA synthesis in humans, or for physics students, the variables associated with parabolic projectile motion. Sleeping in class alleviates the stress and pressure that students face during exam week. Some students say they are afraid of sleeping in class because of being called on by some professors. However, Kimon suggests that you use a notebook to place it in front of your desk. “After all, if you cannot see the professor, he cannot see you,” says Kimon.
Sleeping is necessary and should be a student’s priority in order to be academically successful. A recent survey from Hope College student congress indicates that 95 percent of students wish they slept more in class. Kimon’s advice to other students is to spend four years of their life enjoying and resting, not studying or paying attention in class because you might end up being diagnosed with insomnia, depression and anxiety. “Sleep and pray; God will do the rest. Learn to live a life of spontaneity, not stressing about classes or grades,” he says.