My tiny, unpublishable opinions

Over the course of my academic year as the Opinion section editor, there have been a few times where I have an opinion that either doesn’t quite qualify for a full article, or it isn’t an extremely original thought, but I would like to publish nonetheless. Since I’ll be moving positions here on The Anchor next semester (and abusing my newfound power as Co-Editor-in-Chief to continue publishing in the Opinion section), I thought I would take the opportunity to publish some of the things I’ve always wanted to put out there in The Anchor, but haven’t had a chance. Enjoy. 

  1. I think one of the saddest things about life is knowing how many books you will never get around to reading. I’m sorry, “Ulysses,” but you are just so confusing, and I am not smart enough for you (Additionally, think of all the great movies you’ll never watch).
  1. It’s interesting when fanbases ruin something. For example, I have nothing against “Rick and Morty” itself, but its reputation has been tarnished by the people who claim you have to be some genius to understand its humor. Because of them, I will never watch that show, even though it’s probably pretty good.
  1. Semi-related to #2, why do “Star Wars” fans hate “Star Wars” so much? I can understand wanting “Star Wars” to be better than it is (believe me, I do too), and that criticism doesn’t mean you hate something, but some people take this critique a step too far. Nobody hates “Star Wars” more than people who claim to love “Star Wars.” 
  1. I recently watched “Twilight” for the first time; I could not tell you a single plot point in that movie. I know that Edward and Bella play baseball, and that a rival vampire (?) wants to eat Bella. I do not know why vampires like baseball/who taught them how to play baseball, or why the rival vampire is so bent on eating Bella, specifically. I truly do not know what that movie was about, which really makes me wonder why it was so popular when it came out. Does the book make more sense in terms of plot? Are the characters not as “quirky” and awkward? 
  1. I don’t think the choice of medium has any direct correlation to the quality of a project. “Avatar: The Last Airbender” is a cartoon, considered to be a kids show, but according to IMDb, it’s one of the best shows ever. On the other hand, “The Big Bang Theory” is a live-action sitcom (that claims to be for adults) from a major network that makes me want to throw my TV out the window. Medium is not equivalent to genre, and neither have anything to do with quality. 
  1. It wasn’t until I moved to Michigan that I had heard anyone slander Steak ‘n Shake, and that honestly appalls me. Is it absurdly greasy? Yes. Are the restaurants super clean? Not really. Do you leave feeling guilty about what you just put your body through? Most of the time, yeah, which is exactly why it is the best fast-food restaurant. You have to understand that in my hometown, Steak ‘n’ Shake was the place to go after any middle or high school event: concerts, dances, sporting events, you name it. There is literally nothing else to do. It’s a last resort, but it’s always the best choice. 

7. Another Michigan quarrel: why can I never make a left turn? It makes no sense. Why do I have to make a u-turn and then turn right just to go left? I will never understand it because it will never make sense.


Eli ('23) is a second-year student from Noblesville, Indiana currently working as the Opinion Editor for the Anchor. He is a psychology major and a member of the Promethean fraternity. In addition to working at the Anchor he is a writing assistant at the Klooster Center for Excellence in Writing. After his time at Hope, he plans to further his education and become a therapist.


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