The ghost of Harambe: Never forget

*This is part of The Ranchor issue of The Anchor, which is a satire edition of our student newspaper. None of this article is meant to be taken as fact.*

NOBLE HEROES — Many grieve after the loss of Harambe, but he remains forever in our hearts. (Cincinnati Enquirer)

On May 28, 2016, the ghost of Harambe was born. It all started in the Cincinnati Zoo where a three-year-old boy climbed into a gorilla habitat that belonged to the silverback gorilla Harambe. Zoo officials decided the best protection for the boy was to shoot the gorilla.

Harambe was a tank of a gorilla weighing 450 pounds. This tragedy occurred the day after his 17th birthday. Because of his short-lived life, with an average gorilla living a lifespan of 40 years, Harambe remains a legend. His death has given the world an appreciation for his existence, which would never have been known if the child never crawled into his cage. Before that day in May, Harambe was just an ordinary gorilla with ordinary ape-like features. But after the child crawled into his cage, Harambe’s life became the tip of the iceberg.

It was a sunny day at the Cincinnati Zoo, and his habitat thrived in peace. However, once Harambe noticed this small human in his enclosure, he was startled, but within minutes, saw the boy as a friendly and loving human with whom he could become friends forever. His parent-like instincts kicked in and he simply wanted to keep the boy for himself.
However, witnesses didn’t see eye to eye with Harambe. They claimed that he was a threat to the boy when Harambe carried the child through the moat and brought him farther back into his enclosure. He tried calming the boy to keep him still by pushing him down whenever the boy was jittery and while trying to escape.

Many witnesses observed that Harambe showed “strutting” behavior by flexing his arms and legs to appear bigger. However, Harambe was simply showing off his buff muscles with his new best friend, feeling like a trophy. These bystanders saw this as a threat to the boy, but Harambe only wanted a friend.

This shooting lead to controversies mainly between the boy’s mother and the Cincinnati Zoo. Unfortunately, the mother had three other kids, and needless to say, they were monkeying around. While the mother claimed to have been distracted from her other toddlers, Harambe took the stand to care for the child himself. Because of Harambe’s courageous response, many officials now lean toward the debate of whether parents should leash their toddlers? If we do not want dogs running around in public, then can’t we say the same for children?

In addition, the Cincinnati Zoo claimed that the gorilla had to be shot in order to protect the child’s life. But what about Harambe’s life? Doesn’t he matter? Because of Harambe’s beastly size, a tranquilizer wasn’t enough to sedate him, but merely aggravate him.

Meanwhile, the zoo improved this enclosure by raising the gorilla barrier to 42 inches with solid wood beams at the top. The director of the zoo, Thane Maynard said, “Our exhibit goes above and beyond standard safety requirements, but in light of what happened, we have modified the outer public barrier to make entry even more difficult.” It’s such a shame in today’s age that cages are meant for the people rather than the animals.

Because of Harambe’s unjustified death, his ghost lingers through the whole nation, sparking chaos over the U.S. What about the nominees for this presidential election? Harambe’s revenge. Zika virus entering the U.S.? Again, Harambe’s revenge. Hurricane Matthew? Yep, Harambe was the cause, but he also took the blame with a bullet. Harambe knows all, so be aware of your surroundings. Harambe’s ghost sees everything, because gorilla lives matter as well.