Trump dumps reporter into Rancor pit

At an exciting rally in Texas this past week, Donald Trump was seen making remarks to a crowd of misfit deviants. Trump made sure to endorse his best friend, Ted Cruz, and his wonderful wife, Heidi Cruz. Mr. Trump did not forget to mention that everyone needed to get out and vote to make sure that “the radical left” wouldn’t take over Congress after the November midterms. Toward the end of his speech, Trump was approached by the rogue CNN reporter Jim Acosta.

Apparently, the two did not have a very pleasant conversation. After yelling at his security guards for letting Acosta in, he turned and focused his attention on the journalist. Acosta threatened Trump, stating, “you can either profit by this or be destroyed. It’s your choice, but I warn you not to underestimate my powers.” Trump grumbled somewhat calmly and shifted on the metal slab he sat on. Trump fixed his gaze upon the dark clad man in front of him stating, “There will be no bargain, young Jim.” Before reaching for another Klatooine paddy frog, Trump stated, “I will enjoy watching you die.” Then in a sudden turn of events, Trump pressed a button that opened the floor that Acosta stood on.

The journalist fell 25 feet into a pit as the crowd became immediately intrigued by the spectacle. Trump could be heard coughing, or laughing, in the background as the young reporter realized that he was to face none other than the bloodthirsty Rancor. The crowd cheered, and then all began to jeer as the clumsy journalist was able to dodge the attacks of the Rancor with the remains of others who had not been as lucky. Eventually, Acosta was able to defeat the Rancor by crushing the beast under the weight of the chamber’s sharp exit. At the moment, it seems that Trump and his ragged gang of scallywags have led the elusive reporter into the middle of the Texas desert in an attempt to feed Acosta to a hungry sarlaac.


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