‘Drake and Josh’ on air once more

*This is part of The Ranchor issue of The Anchor, which is a satire edition of our student newspaper. None of this article is meant to be taken as fact.*

FAMOUS DIALOGUE — The show’s revival will also include
all of the famous lines avid fans know well. (Buzzfeed)

By: Oprah

Students all across campus are flocking to their television screens in excitement. No, they are not turning on the March Madness final championship game or another episode of “The Bachelor.” Hope students are eager to watch the revival of a show that is universally appreciated within the genre of laugh tracks and sitcoms: “Drake and Josh.”

After twenty years it appears this show could not have re turned at a better time. Between children’s shows that depict talking animals with full-time jobs and reality television portraying men making out with dozens of women and claiming he genuinely loves them all, there has been no middle ground for people that just want to share a laugh with their classmates. “Drake and Josh” is well-known for putting everyone’s daily embarrassments on display in a public manner, which makes the characters endearing to every viewer.

“I’m excited to reenact our adult lives! You guys will get to watch me attempt to use apps like Snapchat and make a fool of myself,” Josh Peck said, of his self-named character. “Plus, I miss getting to run over Oprah in my car.”

If not for that iconic episode, this show would not have gained half the popularity it has today. People are sending in millions of requests for people they want to see get run over by Josh in up coming episodes. Apparently the show is garnering the inter est of those who want revenge on others while hiding behind a middle party. In keeping with real life, Peck’s character will portray the incapability adults have of discussing feuds civilly and sorting out arguments face-to-face. Hiding behind a phone screen or steering wheel is the way to confront arguments.

So what will his fellow step brother do throughout the revival? In a recent interview, Drake Bell detailed, “Drake’s character is now happily living in a bus with his band. They have not made much of a mark in the mu sic industry, which might sound sad… but honestly I think it’ll be great, because that’s the reality of most musicians out there.” In a final comment, he was heard saying, “College students will definitely relate to being poor and living in less than ideal conditions. Moral of the story: get used to it; it doesn’t get much better after school is over.”

As far as Drake and Josh’s younger sibling Megan goes, she will be much more fortunate in her circumstances. “Her scheming ways have finally paid off,” Miranda Cosgrove, who plays the character, said. “She is currently on the way to world domination and enjoys ruining every one’s lives. Everyone deserves to be punished equally throughout life, right?”

Needless to say, this new revival will be a wake-up call for college students across the nation, Hope students included. Regardless of what colleges will tell people, career dreams ultimately do not last and adults will end up penniless in their living rooms, confused over the latest technological advances. Although the show is a bit modified from the previous version, it still holds truer to life than shows that claim to be “reality.”

Get ready to watch television return to its former glory and laugh without a laugh track be cause the brutal facts of life are sadly hilarious.