Very famous country music star finally reveals identity

Two weeks ago, I published an article in The Anchor’s Arts section entitled “In defense of country music.” In this article, I discussed the history, meaning and stars of today’s country genre. I have since recognized the colossal misstep I have made and would like to take this week’s article to apologize. 

You see, Hope College, I stupidly forgot to mention today’s biggest country and western star. This juvenile neglect has caused an uproar through the country and western community (C&W Fam). 

The artist in question is one Olive Smeck, the mysterious cowgirl singer-songwriter who performs clad in leather masks with fringe that conceal her true identity. 

In the last year, Smeck has taken the world by storm with her immense musical talent and enigmatic persona. She is really cool, and I personally like her a lot. Critics say her music isn’t that good, but the artist’s mother would disagree. 

“Why are you asking me about this? You have to stop living in this fantasy world, Katy,” Smeck’s mother strangely said in a recent over-the-phone interview I conducted. 

There are certain types of stories the public is yearning for. As a journalist, when one of these stories comes knocking on your door, you do not ignore it and have a night in. No, you open that door and wander into the great unknown, notebook and pencil in hand. 

It is on this lovely fall day, Hope College, that I have one of these very stories for you. 

The uproar that my mistake on the country music article caused put me in direct contact with Smeck herself. I am happy to report to you that she is finally ready to reveal her identity. 

Imagine: the worldwide star is parting her leather face fringe and lifting the mask. Her features start to get revealed and you see none other than… 

Me. 

You read that right, Hope College. Olive Smeck, the world renowned elusive talent is none other than the very reporter writing this article. I know it must be hard knowing that you have a real, live celebrity in your COMM-140 class, but trust me, you’ll get over it. 

That is why I have to write this very article. It is hard being an undercover celebrity. I am finished living a double life, for many reasons. One reason being that the IRS is very suspicious of my receipts, seeing that I have made $45 million this year. Another reason is I had a concert on Mother’s Day last year, and the excuse I gave to my mother was, “I have to groom my neighbor’s dog.” Our neighbor does not have a dog, nor do I know how to groom a dog.

This troubled my mother. And so, the truth had to come out. 

To the C&W Fam, thank you for all of your support over this last year. I will continue to make music, but it might be less focused than before. Being Smeck gave me a mask to hide behind. I could be anyone I wanted to be. In some ways, I still believe that. 

But now that you see me for who I really am, the illusion comes unraveled. 

A very wise woman once sang, “You get the best of both worlds.” I believe she understood my predicament very well. Now I’m ready to derobe myself of my blonde wig, so to say, and emerge as my own person. 

Thank you all for the support in this hard decision.