Hope-themed coffee shop to take over Ferris: Introducing Orange & Blue Brews

*Please note that this article is part of the Ranchor (the Anchor’s satirical edition)!

On March 23, one of downtown Holland’s beloved businesses said farewell to the community. Originally known as JP’s, the Ferris Coffee on 55 E. Eighth St. has brewed its last cup of coffee, as the company moves to a focus on retail. Though downtown Holland holds a handful of coffee shops–Lemonjello’s, the 205, the Starbucks at the Marriott and Haworth Hotel’s Biggby–members of the community feel as though downtown does not feel right due to the empty space on Eighth St. Freshman Deborah Akwafo reflects on the departed Ferris’ environment, saying it “was the warm atmosphere and the people there who already knew you liked your coffee on the sweeter side.” Ferris was “the closest coffee shop to the Science Center”, making it accessible for the Neuroscience major coffee lover.

Ferris Coffee, 55 E. Eighth St. 

Source: https://www.holland.org/listing/ferris-coffee-holland/149/

With downcast spirits trailing, decaffeinated, back and forth from the A. Paul Schaap Science Center all week, the community has taken notice. Hope students and loyal coffee lovers like Akwafo have been the inspirational push that Hope needed to launch its most recent coffee venture: Orange & Blue Brews. This coffee shop, once moved into the ghost-town that was once Ferris Coffee House,  will sell an array of  Hope-themed drinks, such as the Orange and Blue-berry latte, the EspreScogin, and the WhereOnEarthIsTrygve. Additionally, the Hope Forward coffee blend will be brewed fresh throughout the day. 

Hope Forward Coffee Blend

Source: https://espressobay.com/products/hope-forward-blend

Members of Hope’s community have raised complaints about speculative budget cuts and a ten percent tuition increase for incoming students to fund this cause. Non-science majors specifically have claimed that the location, a few wind-blown blocks from campus, will only benefit the most sleep deprived of STEM folks. In response to these nervous speculations, Hope has released a new mission statement, strongly supported by all faculty members, minus the Health and Nutrition staff. It reads as follows: “Coffee first, then save the world”. This new statement, a true representation of Hope’s ethical code and belief in its students, will be honored with a new plaque replacing the stained glass backdrop of the Dimnent Chapel stage. As a community, coffee will bring hope to all in Holland, at Hope, and beyond. Orange & Blue Brews coming soon 2025!