Hidden Secrets of the New Anchor Plan: What the Registrar’s office HASN’T told you yet

*Please note that this article is part of the Ranchor (the Anchor’s satirical edition)!

Ever since the new Anchor Plan was created, it is all that professors, advisors and faculty have been able to talk about. For the past year or so, the registrar’s office has been working to improve and change the Hope College courses and course requirements. Thus far, some of those changes have included removing Cultural Heritage courses and replacing them with Historical and Philosophical Perspectives course requirements along with the shift from four-credit classes to three-credit classes beginning this Fall. While most of these changes seem inherently harmless, there are guidelines to this new system that students have not yet been told. 

The change in standard course credits from four to three hours has had some unforeseen effects. Although it may seem like this will have no change other than the removal of the outside fourth hour for each class, the administration felt that those hours needed to be added somewhere else to give professors enough time to teach everything necessary. This time addition will not affect daily classes, but rather it will present itself in the shortening of Thanksgiving and Christmas Break. From now on Thanksgiving “Break” will be just one day permitted for students to celebrate the holiday and Christmas Break will be reduced to just one week: the week of Christmas. Out-of-state student Polly Gordonson was outraged by this change and said “It’s hard enough to live so far from home, but now I don’t get to go home for Thanksgiving?! This new Anchor Plan is ridiculous!” Unfortunately, it looks like Polly will not be thankful for the New Anchor Plan this Thanksgiving.

Another policy that is wreaking havoc among students is the modified and ‘improved’ registration process. For as long as students can remember, registration was sorted out by the number of credits a student has, assigning them to a specific day and time to pick their classes. The registrar’s office was bored with this system, it simply was not competitive enough. In the Anchor Plan guidelines, the new registration process states that all students should register on the same day, at the same time. All Hope students will be gathered in Devos Fieldhouse where a blow horn will sound at the beginning of registration. Oh, did you think registration was stressful with the old system? Just wait until your desired classes fill up in 10 seconds. A note from the registrar’s office says, “Have your laptops open and charged, your classes chosen, and your registration pins at the ready. Good luck, Hope students. We wish you the best!” Will your reflexes be fast enough? You’d better start training them now!

Many students are aware of the added Global Perspectives requirements as well as the Religion Christian Tenants or the Human Creative Perspectives attributes, but have you heard of the UBW required course? This is now a mandatory class for all Hope College students and is considered a General Education requirement as it helps shape students into articulate and disciplined individuals. But what is UBW you may ask? UBW is the acronym for Under Water Basket Weaving. This course will be taught by Hope College swim coach Jake Taber and will take place in the Dow Gym swimming pool. Underwater basket weaving is a difficult yet necessary discipline that will require students to simultaneously control their breath underwater while articulately weaving and braiding baskets together. The registrar’s office recommends taking swimming lessons if you have not already done so, and keep an eye out for UBW class sign-ups this registration season!

As we look to the upcoming school year, the registrar’s office asks that you keep these new changes in mind and be ready to embrace any other changes we have yet to hear about! It’s always an adventure at Hope College, and thanks to the new Anchor Plan, Fall 2023 will be one to remember!

Registration checklist for the new Anchor Plan (Credit: Adobe Stock by 4zevar)