Airbnb Presents: The Hope Forward Anchored in Hope Overnight Stay Experience

PARODY ADVISORY *Please note that this article is part of the Ranchor (the Anchor’s satirical edition)!

We’ve all seen it: The President’s House. The majestic structure that looms over campus, its windows glimmering with the promise of leadership, and maybe, just maybe, a glimpse of Mathew Scogin engaging in some light presidential duties. But what goes down inside? What’s behind that random window in the turret of the house? Can Scogin see me staring inside of his house right now? Well, good news!! Scogin is partnering with Airbnb to turn his luxurious palace into the overnight stay of your dreams!!

With your booking, you gain access to the world of Mathew Scogin. Experience the daily rhythms of Hope College’s president through the newly branded “Hope Forward Anchored in Hope Overnight Stay Experience.” It’s like living in a reality show where the cameras are constantly rolling—except they’re not! So feel free to be your true self.

Inside the President’s House, you will have full access to all the daily experiences and utilities that Mathew Scogin might encounter. Want to say goodnight to your son, Ollie? Done. Make your wife a delicious home-cooked meal. Why not! You’re now the honorary Scogin! Feel free to hop into any family conversation, whether discussing university budgets or what toppings to put on pizza. During the “Hope Forward Anchored in Hope Overnight Stay Experience,” Scogin’s Casa is your own Casa! 

The soft launch of the “Hope Forward Anchored in Hope Overnight Stay Experience” has been rolling out for a few weeks, and already, it’s a smashing hit!! The Men of Durf have taken the plunge, convincing Sarah Scogin to temporarily relocate into the RD room of Durfee Hall. 

But I don’t think this is just a one-off gimmick. This immersive experience is nothing new for Airbnb, which has previously created the likes of An Inside Out House, Polly Pocket House, Beetlejuice House, and the Edna Mode House, among others! The Hope Forward Anchored in Hope Overnight Stay Experience may not be the first experience-based booking they have rolled out, but it proudly stands as their first college-themed venture. And this is only the beginning! Rumor has it that a lineup of additional campus experiences is on the horizon, including the Western Theology Center Experience, slated to launch in 2025. Prepare to preach from the pulpit or just nap in the pews!

Guests can expect more than just a cozy bed as bookings roll in. Imagine a fully interactive scavenger hunt through the President’s House—search for the elusive “Presidential Pen,” a treasured artifact rumored to possess magical powers that can turn any ordinary signature into a historical document. Or perhaps you’d prefer to join a unique seminar where you can engage in spirited debates about campus policies with fellow guests, all while sipping on some artisanal coffee brewed by none other than Mathew Scogin himself. 

For those who wish to take their experience to the next level, a premium package offers a one-on-one “Office Hours” session with the president. During this session, you can pitch your grand ideas for Hope College over a game of ping-pong in the basement rec room. Who wouldn’t want to explain their revolutionary campus initiative while trying to beat the president in a friendly match?

As the holiday season approaches, don’t miss your chance to book your stay at the President’s House! Whether you’re hoping to rub elbows with the Scogin family or just looking for a unique getaway, the “Hope Forward Anchored in Hope Overnight Stay Experience” promises an unforgettable adventure. After all, who wouldn’t want to wake up in a presidential palace surrounded by the echoes of laughter, leadership, and a touch of collegiate chaos? So pack your bags, book your spot, and prepare for an overnight stay that’s as enlightening as it is entertaining.

(Featured image source: CCNull)