A Renewed Pace of Life: Slow Down for Kindness and Generosity

Guest Writer: Anna Hammond (’25)

Recently, I walked around the corner of a cafe to use the restroom and found an elderly man there already waiting. He nodded and smiled at me, acknowledging my presence.

“They’ve been in there for ages,” he chuckled.

“Really?” I replied.

“Yeah, I think they only read the ‘rest’ part in the restroom and are abiding by that suggestion.”

I laughed and then pointed to another sign that I saw taped beside one of the doors.

“It looks like there are restrooms at a place around the corner!” 

“Knowing my luck the second after I leave these doors will open and I will find the bathroom around the corner also with a line.”

Smiling at the encounter, we stood leaning our backs against the wall, our feet jutting out from underneath us. We stood in silence and I noticed that though he may have been anyone’s average grandpa, he had diamond stud earrings that sat in each ear twinkling like the joke that was next on the list to crack. Finally one of the doors opened, but rather than taking that chance to use the bathroom that he had waited much longer than me for, he looked at me tilting his head towards the door. 

“Go for it.”

“Are you sure? You have been waiting all this time.”

“I’m a grown man, I can hold myself.” 

I don’t know why, but this gesture baffled me. Among the many times that I’ve waited for the restroom, I’ve never had someone given up their place to allow me to go before them. This seemingly small act made me ponder the relationship of kindness and generosity. 

To be kind, I find that it is necessary to give up something, fostering generosity with your time, energy, money and space. In our day and age, it seems that time is an entity that is eaten up by things that may be somewhat out of our control whether it be homework, practices or events. 

American culture screams the busier the better. The more things you are doing, the more accomplished you are. In fact, I find that I scold myself when I have sat chatting with my friends all day since my brain has been wired to think that unless I am completing something it is not worth my time. I experienced the complete opposite while studying abroad in Spain. My lifestyle of ‘go go go’ was frowned upon. 

“¿Anna que haces? ¿Tu vas otra vez?”

“¡Eres loca! ¡Yo no se que tu vives!”

I would run in and out of my shared apartment to explore and travel the city and my friends would laugh at me, finding my life exhausting. Where my week bore plans after my ballet classes and rehearsals, my friends lived with a fairly empty calendar, soaking in the unplanned moments. 

A couple of French girls also attended the pre-professional dance program though it was mostly dominated by Spanish students, and together we found ourselves comparing cultural differences. For example, on such comparison was that of the pace, cadence, and form of walking places.

The Spanish, for instance, walk as if time is not a concept. They walk with one hand in their pocket, the other grasping the hand of their fellow promenader. Their faces are tilted up if the sun is out, and their strides are long and slow. With a culture that values peace and does not often rush, I have found there is increased opportunity to be kind. 

When you are constantly rushing you have a limited perception. Because of the lack of time to do things, the end goal (in this case being a destination) is the only thing that you perceive and are focused on. With an expanded time the end goal is still clear, but it is as if you have taken your blinders off and have free range to take in all that is around you, the people, the buildings, the trees, and the baby golden retriever across the street. If the world is flying around you, you can’t see the woman who dropped her groceries or a little lady trying to open her umbrella. In taking out the need to get to the next place as fast as possible you now have the ability to be more generous with your time, first noticing people and then seeing where your helping hand could make an impact. 

I am reminded by David Foster Wallace’ s This is Water commencement speech. Highlighting the power of thinking and how negative thoughts can often cloud the situation around you. Wallace speaks to examples of stressful mundane situations and how often our perception is clouded with judgement for those around us because of it. With the idea that you can flip your negative thoughts towards situations and people to kind ones he states, “if you really learn how to pay attention, then you will know there are other options. It will actually be within your power to experience a crowded, hot, slow, consumer-hell type situation as not only meaningful, but sacred, on fire with the same force that made the stars: love, fellowship, the mystical oneness of all things deep down.” 

If you have the time, energy, and space, why not give it to the person looking stressed beside you. If you have time to slow down, perhaps allow the perceivably annoying car to merge in front of you. There are millions of choices that we make in our daily lives and if we allow ourselves to be counter cultural, slowing down and giving to the person next to us, we can share a bit of kindness to our world that bears such hurt. 

I challenge you as I have challenged myself: if you do not have a time frame for something, slow down, notice those around you, and see if you can be kind to them by being generous with your time, space, and energy. 

(Featured image source: 365 Give website)