Knapp wishes a merry Christmas

CHRISTMAS IS COMING — John Knapp attempts to communicate with Hope students. (Stranger Things)

By Joyce Byers

For the past few weeks, a frenzy of rumors about telepathic activity has been brewing on campus. Last Friday, Nov. 3, the rumors were, quite literally, brought into the light when an event was held in the Pine Grove at 8 p.m. Hundreds of students gathered together to hang Christmas lights among the trees, enough to illuminate the entire Grove. The demonstration was the culmination of a flurry of suspicious activity among students.

According to Resident Assistants, a small group of students claims to have received telepathic communication from former President Knapp through the lights that were hung in their residence halls. Students were discussing their disappointment at his departure when the lights began to flicker. Believing that the flickering was an attempt by Knapp to communicate with them, the students gathered more lights and hung them throughout the hallway of their residence.

To decode the messages that Knapp has allegedly been sending them, students painted the alphabet across the walls of the hallway so that the flickering of certain lights would signal a specific letter.

Resident Assistants became concerned about the activity when students began missing class to remain in the heavily- lit hallway coding Knapp’s messages. After taking down the lights, RAs contacted physical plant to repaint the alphabet-covered walls. However, the lights and writing were promptly replaced the following day. The group of students involved in this activity have expanded significantly to include members in every residence hall on campus, as well as numerous cottages and apartments. Despite the obviousness of their presence, the group remains extremely secretive. Rumors speculate that members congregate on Saturday nights in a consistently changing location on campus to share messages among other mysterious activities.

The purpose for their communication is still unknown. The group has not released any official information nor have they provided a name for themselves.

One member did reach out to The Ranchor through a vague email, only to say that the group is doing what they consider “important work” and that they will reveal their findings when their “message” is complete. The sender of this email wishes to remain anonymous. According to faculty on campus who have maintained contact with Knapp since his departure, Knapp recently left for a hiking trip in northern Pennsylvania where he is without cellular reception. Knapp has not yet responded to confirm these mysterious messages.

If you walk through any residence on campus currently, you are likely to see evidence of the group’s presence. The Christmas lights, though usually a symbol of holiday cheer, have taken on an eerie, chilling significance in these recent events.

During the event on Friday, beneath the canopy of lights that was created in the trees, poster boards were used to paint the alphabet across the lawn. Students stood or sat in a circle around the Pine Grove shouting out letters to a single student who sat in the center of the grove transcribing the message. The event continued for more than three hours until campus safety asked the group to leave due to excessive light and noise- making. This unprecedented and bizarre series of events has caused a great deal of concern among faculty, staff and uninvolved students. Please remain cautious as this telepathic activity continues to be investigated.

*This is part of The Ranchor issue of The Anchor, which is a satire edition of our student newspaper. None of this article is meant to be taken as fact.*