What’s “hot” (or “not”) in fashion trends

HOW EMBARRASSING — Dustin Henderson nervously looks out at all the casually dressed students of Hawkins Middle School. Must be humiliating. (Pop Sugar)

By Princess Daphne

This month there have been some breakout style stars that made waves in the fashion community. Not only have they pushed boundaries, but they are also making high-quality fashion choices effortlessly.

High school heartthrob Steve Harrington, known by the fashion gods for his amazing locks, has finally revealed to us the secret behind his killer ‘do. “Use the shampoo and conditioner, and when your hair’s damp — it’s not wet, okay? — when it’s damp, you do four puffs of the Farrah Fawcett spray,” he tells us. Write that down, boys! Female hair products are where it’s at, according to Harrington. Follow this procedure, and you too can have the likes of Nancy Wheeler on your arm.

Fashion newcomer Jane Hopper, also known as Eleven, has drastically changed her look. Running away to Chicago must have really done something to her, as she returned to Hawkins with slicked-back hair, all-black clothing and eyes rimmed with eyeshadow smokier than any- thing the punk world has ever seen. “I really wanted people to see how I’ve changed,” Hopper tells the Ranchor. “I didn’t want to come back to Hawkins and let everyone think I’m a pushover who wears overalls.” This evolution in style has been major for her, and there’s no telling what she’ll wear next.

If you thought about wearing a costume to school for Halloween this year, think again. Costumes are no longer what’s “hot,” as experienced by Mike Wheeler and Will Byers firsthand. Wheel- er, Byers and friends all wore matching Ghostbusters outfits to school, sticking out like a sore thumb among the throngs of normally-dressed students. “Never again,” Wheeler says, regretting having walked out of his house the morning of Halloween. “I just can’t believe no one told us they weren’t going to wear costumes.” This is a warning to those unaware of trends as they try to stay with the times.

Not everyone is like Harrington, so stick to the status quo to live to see another day. Just don’t get caught wearing a costume in broad daylight.

*This is part of The Ranchor issue of The Anchor, which is a satire edition of our student newspaper. None of this article is meant to be taken as fact.*