There’s nothing I love more than sitting in the comfort of my dark room, eating toasted marshmallows and watching reruns of “How I Met Your Mother” on Netflix. I could be having the time of my life just lying in my jammies all weekend long and napping, because Lord knows I deserve that second nap after contemplating doing my homework for five hours straight.
It’s when I’m about five minutes into the best part of my show, however, when I feel my phone buzz and flash in the corner of my eyes causing me to inwardly roll my eyes. I already know that it is my friends on our group chat asking what everyone else is doing. I could try to ignore it, but my phone begins to have a seizure on my dresser as five other people answer the question and make plans for the rest of the night. While I could turn off my notifications, god forbid I don’t respond within the next three seconds or everyone will think I’m dead. Oh, and don’t let me leave the group chat because then there’s an angry mob at my bedroom door demanding an intervention and thinking I’m having a mental breakdown.
My best friends take pride in getting me out of my comfortable room and on adventures around campus and forging into anxiety inducing frat parties. While I am grateful for them, it’s sometimes daunting that they do not understand my quiet and chilled nature. Their annoyance is visible when they introduce me to their favorite sorority sister and I don’t strike up a conversation with them. Also, when I am at a party and they try to set me up with a guy only to find that I have hidden myself from this nearly awkward situation.
I understand their frustrations but they don’t see the world from my paradigm. I don’t talk to people I’ve just met because I don’t know what to say to them. When I leave a party, it’s because the dialogue in my head for socializing wasn’t great enough. While it’s their scene, it’s sometimes not my own. I’d rather hang out inside eating pizza and playing Jenga or even laying in the grass and gazing upon stars talking about life. While I do go actively seeking for social interactions and enjoy going to social events with friends, energy does flee from me quickly and I end up wanting to just be home in bed, regardless of how much fun I am having.
While I do wish we could hang out more within ourselves, I understand that their habitats are with large groups doing exciting things engaging their every sense. I often envy their confidence, strutting through the world and not second guessing everything. I wish to be like them, but I’ll never deny my love for staying in. It’s our differences that keeps our friendships strong and, while I’d do anything for Netflix and cookie nights, I wouldn’t trade our nightly adventures for the world.