The Ranchor

The Ranchor is our semesterly, satire edition. Everything that is apart of this section is inaccurate, false, and written with comedic intent. The Anchor is not attempting to make any factual statements with these articles. Enjoy!


‘There are still kids in that hotel?’: Administration forgets about quarantined students amid vaccine excitement

A shocking screenshot has been circulating around campus all week. Junior Immuna Vander Zation captured a Snapchat sent by their roommate, Corrantina Isola. in one of Haworth’s quarantine rooms, captioned “I’ve been stuck in here for THREE DAYS WITHOUT FOOD. No one is answering my phone calls or emails. Help.” Vander Zation posted the screenshot…