Who’s the new champ at the arcade?

HENDERSON DOESN’T “DIG” IT — The fallen champion is healing his wounds after getting thumped by Mad Max’s high scores at Hawkins Arcade. (Google)

By Princess Daphne

As the saying goes, all good things come to an end. It’s time for Dustin Henderson’s reign over arcade games “Centipede” and “Dig Dug” to come to a close, as an anonymous gamer dubbed “Mad Max” swoops in to steal the throne from under his nose.

“I guess he just got too full of himself,” said friend Lucas Sinclair with a sigh. “All he ever did was play the games over and over and over again, scoring high enough that other people couldn’t beat him. He wouldn’t even let anyone so much as touch the joystick of a game. My top score in ‘Dragon’s Lair’ was infuriating to him; it really took a toll on our friendship. I’m hoping this loss to Mad Max brings him back down to earth.”

So, who is this “Mad Max”? Keith, Hawkins Arcade’s manager, wouldn’t give reporters a name, demanding that Mike Wheeler get him a date with Wheeler’s sister, Nancy, first. There are speculations that this is a newcomer to Hawkins – until last week, there was no one on the video game leader- boards named “Mad Max.” This unknown champ now has a monopoly on the local arcade, scoring tens of thousands of points higher than Henderson. Need- less to say, no one will be stop- ping “Mad Max” anytime soon.

Henderson declined to give The Ranchor a statement.

*This is part of The Ranchor issue of The Anchor, which is a satire edition of our student newspaper. None of this article is meant to be taken as fact.*